he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
