HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
