So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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