And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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