i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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