Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
