all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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