Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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