There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Randomize
