Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
