I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize