i barfeds in our rink
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
