The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
