i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
