Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize