it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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