The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
