so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize