Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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