I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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