Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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