Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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