White coat. Heels.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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