hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
