my mouth tastes like poor choices
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
