I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
