I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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