...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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