Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
