i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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