So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
