i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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