In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize