I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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