so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
