After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
