Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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