quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i want to swaddle you in tequila
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
