And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
