So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
