woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize