Screwed.edu
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
