Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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