those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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