Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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