Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
