it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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