how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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