is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Then you guys just all showered together...?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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