do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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