Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
