when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
