i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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