Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
