this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
