White coat. Heels.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
