I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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