Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
