Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
