Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Houston, we have a squirter
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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