he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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